So I’ve been trying to be more intentional about some self-care lately.
And if you’re rolling your eyes right now about this opener -- I wouldn’t blame you.
Self-care is ALL THE RAGE right now. I think there’s lots of people who consider self-care some new-age hippy BS, that’s all about candle-lit baths and facemasks (which is totally valid, because it can be)-- and that it’s inherently “soft.” Soft meaning -- if you’re tough, or you’re busy -- this is a wimpy, nice-to-do-it-if-I-actually-had-the-time, cry in the corner and write poetry kinda thing.
Truth is, self-care is really anything that you do to show that you actually care (read: give a shit) about yourself.
And though I feel it should go without saying -- I’m going to emphasize it here in big bold letters….
SELF-CARE MEANS DIFFERENT THINGS TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And that makes sense logically, right? I mean, you and I are different people. We have different needs, different wants. We find different things to be fun, or not fun. We had different work schedules this week. It makes logical sense that showing ourselves love and support would look unique and different, based on the individual, right?
Right.
So hey -- today, I wanted to touch base on this. Because I think it’s a message that's getting missed -- which is really unfortunate (bad even?) because … (again this should go without saying) -- you kinda need to take care of yourself.
We all live really crazy, busy lives. Sure, they look different from person to person -- but it’s safe to say that everyone’s got their own stuff going on. We’re all busy. But when we don’t spend (or protect!) intentional time to take care of ourselves -- to love and support ourselves-- in the best most unique, specific way possible… we show up as half-ass humans everywhere else.
And I don't know about you -- but I don’t like to half-ass anything.
Burnout is a real thing -- and believe me… I know. For much of my life (and even still to this day), I’ve been of the mindset that you push through stuff. Taking sick days are for people who aren’t ambitious enough. Bubble baths are for fruitcakes. Taking time out of your day to go to the friggen dentist!?! “I’m TOO BUSY, SIR.”
Ugh. I WANNA THROW UP IN MY MOUTH JUST EVEN WRITING THAT CRAP. That sounds (BEYOND) stupid. Who do I think I am? Elon-friggen-Musk?
This shit is real. I’ve burned the candle at both ends enough to know that I’m definitely not my best self when I’m going too hard for too long. I show up differently (read: worse) for my friends, my family, and my co-workers. I’m more irritable, and more impatient. I get sick more often -- which is a double whammy because then I ACTUALLY have to take legitimate time off (of work or workOUTS), which I hate.
And it’s like -- I don’t know how many friggen times I need to RE-LEARN this lesson! It’s like my brain literally forgets what happens when I don’t stop to take a breath for awhile, and make sure I’m doing things that essentially communicate -- “hey girl -- I love you and I got you.”
Self-care isn’t some hippie-dippy, touchy-feely, new-age BS.
Self-care is hardcore.
Self-care is preparation.
Self-care -- sure! -- is love and support.
It’s showing up for yourself.
And, ya know what? I don’t know a more meaningful thing we could possibly do.
Life is tough. And lots of us take care of lots of other people, and tend to lots of other things.
So me. I’ve gotten to a point where I’m kinda sick of having to RE-REALIZE that my life sucks and my work sucks when I get to a point where I’ve gone too fast, too hard, for too long. So I’m trying to be more intentional about taking a goddamn breath every once in a while and showing up for myself in some really real, but really probably unique-to-me ways.
I do Self-Care Sundays now.
Does it happen every week? No.
Do I try my best to do at least SOMETHING once a week, and be intentional about it? Yes.
I’m trying. And that’s what counts.
This -- like anything or any habit -- takes practice. And commitment. And consistency.
So I’m showing up for this habit, and in turn (sort of ironically)... showing up for myself.
As evidence of my new practice, I spent some time detailing my Self-care Sunday these last couple weeks -- and I want to share some of what I’m learning with you, in an effort to emphasize that everyone’s version of self-care looks different, AND the idea that self-care can mean a lot of different things. (Not JUST bubble baths……)
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Sleep.
I usually wake up (yes, even on weekends) around 4:30-5:00 AM. But last weekend, I babysat two amazing kiddos, and stayed up way past my bedtime. So even though my body woke me up at 4:30 -- I asked her what she wanted and she said “gurlllll go back to sleep.” So I did. #selfcare.
Also, Sundays are great days for what I like to call “nap traps.” My sister, Brittany, coined this phrase and I’m told that the formal definition is = to fall in and out of sleep on the couch while hours and hours of football play in the background. This last Sunday, I intentionally created space for a nap trap and woke up feeling refreshed, cared for, and overall -- pretty friggen awesome. #selfcare
Take a slow morning.
My morning routine consists of coffee, reading, and journaling. I do this every morning. Yes -- every morning. Even when I’m traveling for work or on vacation. It makes me feel like I asserted myself on MY day, vs. the world attacking me and operating in a frazzled state from the second I wake up. First thing I do when I wake up, is make a french press of coffee. Then for the next hour or two, I sit and read and journal. I really don’t have to explain my rationale about the coffee right? I mean. French press is the way to go. And it’s something warm in your hand, perks you up a bit… come on now. A book and a warm cup of coffee? No better combination exists in the world. (Don’t @ me). Protecting time for this, is my kind of #selfcare.
Move your body.
Two Sundays ago, I went for a long easy run. Nothing intense… just got my body moving and my heart pumping and a little sweat in. This isn’t my normal MO when it comes to my workouts. I like to go hard. Some craziness from lifelong conditioning as a competitive athlete. For some reason, I feel like if I’m not keeled over, ready to puke -- I didn’t “really” get a workout in. (This is totally bullshit by the way). But Sunday -- I asked my body what she wanted and she said “guuurllll go slow.” So I listened to her. And I did. #selfcare
Do something you’ve been meaning to get to for awhile.
So I’ve been putting off some stupid paperwork for awhile now. It’s for work. It’s some stupid HR stuff or taxes or my 401k or something -- I can’t even remember. But anyways, point is -- it’s not fun. And it’s not sexy. I’ve been putting off this paperwork for FOREVER. I mean months. And it’s not like it’s hard. It’s not like it’s going to take me a long time! But I JUST. WON’T. DO. IT. Dumb. I know. But it happens. So this last Sunday, I woman-ed up and printed out all the damn documents and filled em all out and scanned em in and emailed em to my HR director and you know what? I FEEL FRIGGEN GLORIOUS. And I don’t mean like “hey, I got a little buzz going on.” I’m talkin -- clouds part and angels sing GLORIOUS. Why? Because this task had been nagging at me forever. And I know I should do it! It’s important adult stuff, like paying the right amount of taxes, or making your contributing the max to your 401k or something (I told you before… I don’t totally remember). But there’s this thing about boring, unsexy tasks that just wanna make you put it off until the last possible second, then scramble to do it. Sunday, I took care of my financial health (*important*) and also knocked off a task I’ve KNOWN I need to get to, for months now. This is #selfcare too.
Hang with community.
Sundays I go to church. Usually I go to service, and then I get to hang out with a bunch of 5 year olds and you know what -- THIS LIGHTS UP MY FRIGGEN LIFE. I love the early service because it’s not so crowded, and because there’s lots of morning people there, and I love morning people. I make it a point to get to church every Sunday I’m home in Madison because it fills me up. Spiritually, emotionally, socially -- it fills me up. I feel a part of a community, and something bigger than me. I leave feeling inspired and with a better sense of perspective. I always feel better after service, and I KNOW I do… so I make a point to get there, even on Sundays where I’m not scheduled to teach my kiddos at Sunday School. This is me taking care of my spiritual and relational health. This is #selfcare too.
Invest in your self-confidence.
Sundays I try to do a few things (or even ONE thing) that’s an investment in my self-confidence. One thing I’ve been doing lately that fits in this broad bucket is putting on a facemask. I don’t have terrible skin. I actually have pretty great skin. But I haven’t always taken that great of care of it. My sister, Hannah, is really knowledgeable about skincare. She knows all the greatest organic minerals and essential oils your skin loves and I know … well… nothing. So she’s helping me. Lately, I’ve been trying to make some time to invest in my skin. Because having really great, clear skin makes me feel confident and sexy. It just does. Sue me. And because I know that it makes me feel great -- I know I need to invest in it. So I do. Anything in this category could include things like: picking out a rockin outfit for a conference you have coming up; rehearsing your maid of honor speech (which I still need to do); spending time visualizing your future goals and dreams; organizing your room so you feel prepared (and confident) for the week ahead. All of it matters. Different things boost confidence for different people. And that’s A-OK. If there are certain things that are more appearance-focused for you, that ensure you feel confident and like your best self -- MORE POWER TO YA! That’s not vain. That’s not superficial. That’s #selfcare.
Watch something you love.
I don’t care what you say… I LOVE MEET THE PRESS. Don’t get it twisted -- Sunday news shows are where it’s at. And this is something that PROBABLY looks really unique for me! Most of the people that I know who watch one of the Sunday news shows live are over 80 years old. But I don’t care. I love it. It makes me feel happy, and informed, and smart, and I fantasize about being a political commentator like Megyn Kelly someday. Squak if you want. This is me. And indulging in this weird, super unique, thing -- is one way that I show up for myself, even though other people may not find this fun or interesting. I’m a proud MTP fan, and I don’t care who knows it. #selfcare (p.s. You could easily substitute my “Meet the Press” for “Real Housewives” or “Fixer Upper” or endless cat videos on YouTube)
Make some good food.
Last Sunday, I made spaghetti. And if you’re thinking, “LC -- spaghetti isn’t that healthy“ -- you’re right. It’s not the healthiest meal I could ever make. But it’s not the UNhealthiest either. And you know what? I really friggen wanted WHITE PASTA (because it’s God’s gift to Earth, and tastes way better than “whole wheat” BS) and friggen ground beef and SAUCE FROM A JAR. Do I eat white pasta every week? No. I rarely even eat pasta, let alone white pasta. Do I eat meat a ton? No -- but when I do, I get the best quality I can, and I really friggen enjoy it. Is homemade pasta sauce better than something from a jar? Maybe. Who knows and who cares. This is what I wanted, and it felt nourishing -- legitimately nourishing -- for my soul. Ask my sister, Hannah. I kept making moaning noises and saying “oh my God” under my breath as I was consuming this. This is also #selfcare.
I also (that SAME day) cooked some healthy food for my busy week of work. (#selfcare) Sweet potatoes, onions, red peppers (seen here) and some other veggies. I went to the grocery store to buy myself some nourishing food to prep for the week. I know that if I’m semi-prepared with some healthy-ish food in the fridge -- I’ll feel much better personally, and perform better much better professionally. #selfcare
Go do something FUN.
Two Sundays ago I got a text at like 9:30 AM from my friend, who asked if I wanted to go out to the Cyclocross Championships (out at Trek HQ) at 1 pm. I’m usually a hard-core planner, and had already mentally mapped out some other things I wanted to do for the day, but this sounded super fun. And hey -- I could run errands later right? I made time and space for something spontaneous and fun and random with a friend. That felt good. Friends, sunshine, and sweaty people covered in mud? Was a blast. And I’m so glad I went. #selfcare
Also. I don’t drink that much at all, but I had two beers on a Sunday afternoon for no reason at all, a part from the fact that I wanted them and they tasted really good. #selfcare
Call someone you love.
On self-care Sundays, I protect time to FaceTime with someone I love. Two weeks ago, this was my handsome BFF, who lives in Arizona. This weekend, I FaceTimed with another handsome man: my pops. In case I haven’t already told you, my sister’s wedding is coming up REAL QUICK, (this weekend, actually), and my parents have spent the entire summer renovating our old 100-year barn on their property, to host the event. And lemme tell you -- it’s been A TON OF WORK. (Disclaimer: I’ve been home several weekends to work with the fam, but my contributions are nowhere NEAR the bride and groom… let alone my parents). So I called my dad to check in, ask how things are going, and hear how he’s feeling. Feels good to just talk to my dad. To see him. I love him so much, and it makes me so happy to see his face and to hear his voice. We need community. And we need family. Given OR chosen. Feels good -- feels nourishing to my soul -- to call someone I love. This is also #selfcare.
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So hey. This has been long. And I’m raging against some of my perfectionist tendencies to make sure this list is all-inclusive -- BUT IT’S NOT. Because, remember -- self-care is totally unique to YOU. Whatever makes you feel loved, appreciated, and cared for -- that counts… and it’s friggen important. So do you. Get on with your bad self. And make time, create space, protect a goddamn hour for stuff that makes you feel like the best version of you.
I’m cheerin’ for ya. (while rockin’ a Shrek-lookin’ facemask…)
Take care.
xoxo
LC
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