I read this quote about half way through the month, and it resonated with me so deeply that I literally ended up using it as a mantra through the rest of my 31 day challenge.
Not kidding.
So if you heard me saying this under my breath, or even — GASP — aloud to myself… now you know why.
“Bish…. we don’t have time for this….”
ICYMI — I dubbed the month last month Optimistic October, with the goal to spend 31 days being intentional about focusing on the good. I feel like I’m already a pretty optimistic, high-energy, good-vibes person — but I want be even better at this.
I set out to do my best to be (1) aware of when my mind automatically goes negative, (2) work to reframe said situation as a positive instead, and then (3) give myself some credit (either internally or aloud) for doing so, and/or, broadly, pat myself on the back for the progress I’m making.
I wanted to circle back on how this went.
(Full disclosure: I’m very much aware of the irony of analyzing or critiquing my progress about becoming more optimistic, and reframing every potentially not-so-awesome situation to be a positive one instead… I get it… hang with me…)
I attempted to be more optimistic in all things — big and small.
The tone in a co-worker’s email sounded a bit short, and maybe even snarky? I tried to CHOOSE to believe they probably got caught up, were emailing fast, and/or were maybe having a rough day. (Instead of something dumb like they hate me, I’m bad at my job, or I actually did something to make them mad).
One of my girlfriends forgot to call me back? I tried to believe to assume they got busy with their kid, or dinner, or the 500 other things that they have to do, and they’re actually really looking forward to catching up. (Instead of something dumb like we’re actually not that good of friends, she doesn’t have time for me anymore, or she felt like I was talking about myself too much).
Left a presentation feeling like I TOTALLY botched it, and was ill-prepared for the Q and A section with really important partners? I tried to CHOOSE to believe that my brain is probably effing with me, and I definitely probably the only one who noticed that I missed that one point I was hoping to make (since it was in MY head in the first place), and that I actually brought really great energy to the meeting which is not insignificant. (Instead of something dumb like I’m not that good at my job, I’m a terrible public speaker, or that I’m literally dumb).
My brain told me I wasn’t smart/pretty/talented/hard-working enough to go after something that (is big and scary and bold but also) really want to do? I tried to CHOOSE to believe that I am all those things — that I AM good enough, and my inner critic is an total asshole. (Instead of something dumb like I’m not smart, not pretty, not talented, not hard-working …. which I literally have a thousand pieces of evidence to counter…).
<< I hoped you notice the all-caps. I tried to remember, in all things, and in all situations — that I had a choice about the thoughts and beliefs I gave attention and weight to. I chose to make sure they were focused on the good or positive ones >>
My overall assessment of last month’s challenge?
I feel like I kicked a lot of ass during Optimistic October.
I got better at becoming aware of when my mind automatically goes negative. I got better at working to reframe said situation as a positive instead. And I got better at giving myself some gd credit (either internally or aloud) for doing so, and/or, broadly, pat myself on the back for the progress I’m making.
Was every day perfect? No.
Did I get better? Yes.
Am I happy about where I landed on October 31st? Abso-friggen-lutely.
A couple of things that I feel like really helped me get better at, and eventually (hopefully) cement this new habit. First: I do feel like being INTENTIONAL and FOCUSED on one single thing, like being positive in all situations aided my success. Second: as a result of making my Optimistic October challenge more public, I did have a few friends ask me about how things were going, and as a result, received some helpful accountability along the way. And third: I used some solid positive reinforcement like LITERALLY smiling to myself (sends endorphins and other good neurotransmitters to your brain) when I “performed the behavior” or LITERALLY said aloud to myself (often under my breath if I’m with other humans…) “hey good job, woman!” Not even kidding. It sounds hokey, but there’s science to back this shit up. And I’m telling you— it helped.
Overall, I’m proud of my progress, and glad I chose to be intentional about things I wanted — including things I want to BE. Am I perfectly positive and optimistic all the time now? Of course not. But am I better than I was, October 1st? Hell yeah I am.
And that’s what really matters. #Progress.
xoxo
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