This is gonna be a good month.
So I study habits and behavior change. Why people do what they do. Why people do what they don’t want to do, and how we can set people up for success. I do this in my professional life, for work — but I also do this in my personal life. Conducting mini-experiments, if you will — to see how I respond and react to different stimulus, and try to build good habits that will set me up for success today — and also 20-40 years from now.
Well-known habit research tells us that it takes 21 days of consistency to build a new habit. Now, some researchers are saying it’s a bit longer than that. To me — 30(ish) days feels like a really good guess based on the current literature, playing a little on the conservative side. So lots of times, when I design these mini-experiments with myself to try something new, or institute a habit I feel like I wanna start — I aim for a month. I usually do this all privately, maybe telling a friend or family member or two — but this month — I wanna do this a bit more publicly.
One of the habits I want to be really, really good at is always seeing the good. I feel like I’m already a pretty optimistic, high-energy, good-vibes person — but I wanna be even better at this. Sometimes I let little things get to me more than I would like. I also have a bad tendency at times to catastrophize — meaning I make something small a REALLY big deal, and extrapolate some of the POTENTIAL (yet super rare) negative outcomes that are possible… and make them a reality in my mind. Or basically — I assume the absolute worst. This can make me incredibly anxious (not fun), and send me into a whirlwind of “what ifs” (also not fun).
I know, through psychology research, that whatever we hold in our mind EXPANDS. When you hold a thought in your mind, your subconscious works like a motor on the back of a heat-seeking missile (who’s programmed target is now THAT thought) and it propels you towards it. Furthermore, you radiate and project a TOTALLY different energy. You just FEEL heavy when you’re around someone with really negative energy — but you feel totally free, and light, and excited when you’re around someone that radiates really good energy! So, basically, when you think or focus on something negative, you start to gravitate, subconsciously, towards said negative outcomes. But when you choose to focus on the good (that’s already present, OR an optimistic outcome down the road) — your subconscious propels you to those results instead. Our thoughts inform our words and actions, our actions inform our outcomes. It’s all a chain reaction. Therefore, it makes most sense to start at the most UPSTREAM variable here… our thoughts.
I’m committed to getting really good at training my mind to see the good.
So, I’m deeming this new month — Optimistic October.
(As a marketing/communications person, I need a catchy title for this to stick in my mind…)
For the next 31 days, I am going to make an intentional effort every single day to see the good. Not in any hippie-hippie, Pollyanna way. In a “this is hardcore science and is proven to get you better outcomes like — happiness and physical results” kinda way.
I’m going to do my best to be (1) aware of when my mind automatically goes negative, (2) work to reframe said situation as a positive instead, and then (3) give myself some credit (either internally or aloud) for doing so, and/or, broadly, pat myself on the back for the progress I’m making.
(The cycle of a habit = (1) cue, (2) routine, (3) reward. So here, I’m becoming AWARE of what I’m doing (“cue”), reframing or refocusing on the good of the situation (“new routine”), then giving myself credit for doing so, by either verbal or internal affirmation (“reward”) — the positive reinforcement helps to cement good habits)
I may try to post some of my progress (both through big wins, and small wins) publicly — to hold myself accountable, and to bring a bit of awareness to this broader concept of habit change and focusing on the good.
Happy Monday, fam. Wishing you some added motivation to tackle your day, your week, and this brand new month. Sending you love, and hoping it’s a really, really, “GOOD” one.
xoxo <3
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